I seriously need your help! I am almost embarrassed to even blog about this, but I just don't know what to do at this point. We started potty training Rian when we were in California just a few months ago. She was doing amazing and she actually liked the idea of going on a big girl potty. I thought she would be fully trained quickly.
Then our lives started to get hectic. It was our last 6 weeks in the States and we were traveling here, there, and everywhere. We brought her potty and encouraged her to go, but not having a routine or any kind of consistency in our daily lives did not help the situation. At one point, while we were still in CA, I was putting Rian on the potty and she was screaming bloody murder. My mom asked me why was I pushing her if she clearly did not like the idea anymore. My response: She is 2 1/2 and she needs to be potty trained. But obviously she regressed and both Matt and I decided that maybe we should hold off on the training until we got back to Guam and into a normal routine again.
So here we are. We've been here for a month and have made no progress :( Rian is a very smart girl (we have full on conversations) and I know she could totally do this if she wanted to, but that's the problem, she doesn't want to. She said she will give the baby her diapers, but the baby isn't here yet, so that isn't really working at the moment. I've put her in big girl panties, but she peed right through them. She loves the idea of being a big girl, but when it comes to the potty she'll say she is still a baby. I've tried pull ups, but obviously the 'cool sensation' doesn't bug her the least. We've rewarded, but she just told me yesterday "I'm fine, I don't need that".
I hate to just give up again and say she is not ready. I know she can do this! But I am started to think again, maybe she just isn't ready. But that feels like an excuse, and that bothers me. She turns 3 in Aug, how can she not be ready yet? And I feel like it reflects on me as a mom. I don't want to push it too hard. If she tells me she doesn't want to go, I shouldn't force her, right? And they say not to get upset if she goes in her diaper, but I can't encourage that either, so what do I say at that point? I am seriously contemplating just leaving her naked for a day and waiting to see what happens. Please, tell me I'm not the only one with a 2.5-3 yr old in diapers and PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!!
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Okay I hate to be the first to comment on this, especially since I've never been through the potty training phase! First of all, YOU are an amazing mother. And you're right, traveling really messes with kids.
I watched Super Nanny (love her) once and she did something really cute. She made the little girl a treasure chest and explained to her that if she put all her diapers in there the pirates would leave her a treasure. So the next morning there were cute undies and some treasures for her. You could keep going with it too. I know you said she doesn't want stuff but sometimes that magical factor works. You could use princesses or any character she's really into.
I knew a lady that said a princess would call her if she used the potty for a week. She had one of her friends call up and pretend to be a princess. She did it for a few weeks and it worked.
Sorry this is so long, just a few ideas I've heard of. GOOD LUCK!! keep us posted
My sister-in-law just trained her 3 yr old AND 18 month at the same time (she figured she might as well get it over with all at one go--yep I think she's crazy too). Anyway, she had a REALLY hard time so just keep at it. They also had family members call as CARS characters when they went successfully or just had the boys call family members to tell them when they went and they were showered with praise. I've never been there but I would just try to focus on the progress she's making instead of the lack there of. Keep up the good work! Someday she'll thank you for this! :)
Hello my dear friend. I understand the pressure to get Rian potty trained. Kaitlyn will be 3 in October and several of the little girls in her nursery class are potty trained, BUT I have decided it is just not worth a battle, DO NOT make it a power struggle, then you will have an even worse problem on your hands. You are a fabulous mom and her readiness to be to potty trained has NOTHING to do with your parenting skills or how smart she is, no doubt she is smart. So let that guilt go. I have read a lot on this topic, and what I am telling you is what the experts say. Don't push her and try not to show your disappointment, spread on the praise and encouragement super thick when she does want to go.
I always ask Kaity if she wants to use the big girl potty when I know she is ready to go and sometimes she says "yes" and she tries, with little success, but I still praise her like crazy for trying. But sometimes she says "no" and that's ok too. Try not to lose sleep over it. I really think Marilyn and Chelsea's comments were awesome ideas and worth a try, let me know if it works! You are a great mom Tracy!!! Hang in there ;)
so funny that the ones with no experience are the ones with the advice! :) My mommy in law is a day care provider and with that comes LOTS of trainings and lots of potty training. this is what she has passed on to me. There are 2 phases in childhood. The oral phase, where everything goes in the mouth and the anal phase where everything is about the potty... potty words and fixations with private parts, stuff like that. They won't be ready to potty train until they are in that phase. (My niece was having full on arguments with my sister when she was 17 months old so they figured they could talk her through it. It was a waste of time because she wasn't ready) Little signs are, they hide to go to the bathroom or they stop what they are doing to go and they talk about it a lot, things like that. If she is there, well I don't remember being there myself so I don't know. :) Another thing is, as they are going through so much mental growth right now, the brain can only handle so much. When things are going well there can be a regression when the brain is getting ready for a new sensory overload. For example,maybe they stop sleeping through the night, or regress in potty training, if they are going to start walking or talking or teething or stuff like that, obviously she is past most of that, but growth (physical or mental) that will be totally new or different to them. My sister-in-law let her son go until over 4 years old because she knew he wouldn't do it until he wanted to. She encouraged, but said little and never pushed the issue. To each his own, I don't think I could do that though. Anyway, good luck!
i'm with you sista! as i was reading your post annie came to me and said "i'm poopy" which means i need to go or she's already done the deed. it's not very consistant. (she had already gone as i'm sure you were dying to know). she poops in her diaper then wants to sit on the potty. she doesn't understand she has it backwards. i talked with my sister yesterday, who has 3 kids and told her of my frustration with this whole potty training thing. the main point i keep getting from people is to wait when they are ready but i too feel that annie could do it. i would love to have her trained before the baby comes in 3 months. maybe that's possible...maybe it isn't. i guess there are worse things. it is a downer to hear of 18 month olds being trained but i guess every child is different and we need to remember that. i think my biggest problem will be #1. annie tells me right off when she's done the deed of #2 but throws a fit when i want to change her out of her soggy morning diaper...agh.
glad i'm not the only one going through all this.
Well, since I have been working on this myself I will comment. Tanner took forever to train. We didn't even "try" until the baby was here. (which was great for us,he really gave up diapers cold turkey so the baby could have them)There have been set backs like crazy. any change in routine and bam accidents all over the place. We started a new thing last week. We have two jars on the shelf: ours full of pennies and his empty (with marks every so often that say he can get $5 when his pennies reach that line)If he goes potty he gets one penny. if he washes his hands and flushes then he gets one more. If he has an accident he has to give us back 3 pennies. if his night time underwear (pull ups) are wet he has to give us two of his pennies. He has been doing amazinly well with it so far. HE can't wait util he gets his $5 to buy candy. be postive and try anything you can think of but don't be disscouraged. It will take a while. Good luck you great mom!!!
I have no personal experience, but this is what my friend Camille did. Her son had resisted every potty training method...they have tried rewards, just leaving him naked for a day, cool Cars underwear and everything else. nothing worked. after struggling for a year (he's 3) they finally sat him down and told him that they had run out of diapers and there were no more. he cried and whined for a day, but they stuck to their guns. They bought him a little watch with a timer that went off every half an hour. That was a reminder to sit on the potty. after a couple of days he just decided to go along with it. They knew he could, but hadn't been able to stick with anything. This is what worked for them. Good Luck! (p.s. the pricess calling idea is GENIUS!)
thank you everyone for your comments! i knew i could count on you all :) you're the best! you all had such great advice and i feel good about keeping this training up! you all are great moms too (or will be!) and that is why i went to you for help! thanks for all the encouragement!! if anyone else has something to add....please do! :)
oh potty training! ella took FOREVER!!! she wanted to use the big potty but seriously i swear it took a year to potty train her. i can't remember when i started but i think she was 2. We didnt always have success but I kept chugging along and eventually she got it. I did nothing different when I potty trained Charlie and he was done in a few days. I started right after his second birthday. With both kids I just put them in underwear and never went back. Some people say boys are harder than girls but I had the opposite experience. My pediatrician was really helpful and told me that both of them were developmentally ready so I went for it.
I definitely wouldn't stop altogether because that would send mixed signals but maybe just keep trying but not make it a stressful situation. I would definitely steer clear of a power struggle. It is such a fine line... I am sorry! Good luck though and not having a potty trained child doesnt make you a bad mom in the least!!
OI OI OI OI OI OI!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw this post because I was in school last week where we talked a lot about potty training.
Toilet training the Montessori way:
* Make the toilet area an interesting place for her to be. Have some books to read to her while you wait for her to potty, or some pictures
* The language you use with about the subject is also important. DON'T ask her if she WANTS to. Simply say "Now it is time for us to sit on the potty."
* Have her sit on the potty when she wakes up in the morning and after naps and after meals and snacks. I really like the idea about using the timer.
* Don't buy anymore diapers. I really liked that point as well.
I don't really agree with the bribing the child with calls from princesses, money or treasure chests because then the child isn't doing it for themselves. You're teaching her at a young age that if you want her to do something then she just has to hold out a bit then she gets a treat for doing it. But if I had to choose one I liked the treasure chest thing.
Ok that's it. Good Luck!
Remember don't ask her if she wants to. It's something natural that everybody does like breathing air.
I'm with Lauren 100%. Avoid punishments or rewards (I don't think Rian is a puppy, is she? :) And I know it's not so helpful for right now, but start thinking about potty training earlier next time -- children who can stand are developing the same muscles used a potty time. Just something to think about!
How's this for some enticement?
http://design-milk.com/pee-poo/#more-7537
too cute.
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